» Things to do in North East London when you’re dead – Clerkenwell/Farringdon
clubs, london, music, nightlife, shoreditch
Things to do in North East London when you’re Dead – Shoreditch
The focus of Nathan Barley, potentially the best programme ever commissioned and more recently the third series of the Mighty Boosh – love it or hate it, Shoreditch is noteworthy on either side of the fence. Its residents are more than used to the casual jibes that their 1990s wedge haircuts and lycra-clad buddies attract and don’t really give a fuck, because they are going home to snort Keith Richard’s ashes off an unreleased Cramps 7-inch.
The sheer volume of places to go out in the Shoreditch/Hoxditch /Whoreditch (Whitechapel/Hoxton/Shoreditch) area is phenomenal. But like a big bag of Woolworth’s pick & mix, before you start your gluttonous munching, you’ve got to sit down and get rid of those shitty egg jelly things.
The Bermuda Triangle – There are three places to avoid like the plague due to the influx of scallies and general ne’er do wells; 333, Legion and Industry. The things I have seen inside and outside these places in the last couple of months wouldn’t look out of place on Dog Borstal. It’s a shame because I had some of the best nights of my life in 333 back in 2005, but when it got closed down for drugs etc it kind of lost its buzz. Legion is long, narrow and has a curious odour, very much like a Frankfurter. Its also got just as much sausage in it as well. Lots of aggro Essex boys dancing in a Frankfurter…you do the math. Industry is pretty much the worst place on Earth. King Mug informs me that it was included in Dante’s 9 circles of Hell. We saw Jade Goody outside once, I nearly vommed all over my stupid pointy shoes.
The Horse & Groom (Curtain Road)- being our local, it has to get a mention. Treading that fine line that is shabby chic showing classic films throughout the day and night. Charlie the new landlord is a good chap and now has some fine lagers on tap, complemented by a good selection of premium spirits. What more do you want than a pint of Peroni with Hitchcock’s Birds playing on the big screen? They are also holding some Burlesque shenanigans on the last Friday of every month so get involved.
Prague - Czech it out! (bluergh!) Ideal place to huddle round a table with some fine, fine cocktails and plan the night of debauch debunking ahead.
Charlie Wright’s International Jazz Bar – Tired of the same old Shoreditch scene? Bored of having your housemate cut your stupid asymmetric hair so you can go out and not dance at the Old Blue Last? Go to Charlie Wright’s. Have fun, listen to live jazz and eat some fine, fine authentic afro-Caribbean food. It’s open to four and if you’re lucky you’ll probably see one of us outside at 3am on a school night talking to someone we’ve just met about the Middle East or something suitably unsuitable for that time of night.
Aquarium – This place is normally one to avoid, but in the summer it serves up a mouth-watering slice of serenity in the shape of the biggest roof terrace in Shoreditch. My aim this winter is to slowly work my way into the affections of the landlady and get a sound system set up on the roof to attract the flamingo-legged mafia of the area and consequently throw them and their stupid drainpipes off the roof!
Tags: london, nightlife, shoreditch
You appear to have left off Catch, which is clearly the shit on a Friday night.
[...] mentioned in our review of Shoreditch – 333 and Legion are pretty much dungeons filled with chavvy aggro fuckwits, sprinkled with the odd [...]
Funny stuff, you sound like me, a resident of some years standing but happy to pour scorn over the pumpkin-pie haircutted Barcelonian party-tourists, the once-a-month Essex 70’s-disco scrotes, the shiny-jacketed part-time models outside the Old Shoreditch Station, and the American Apparel t-shirt/cardigan/tight jeans/white pumps in their hoards spilling out the the George & Dragon.
“Move away if you hate it so much…”
“I ain’t going nowhere mate!”
Andi nice to see we have some kindred spirits around the ‘ditch! Whilst we love to scoff at scenesters in their Revenge of the Nerds outfits we love them in equal measure for their try-hard ways.
My favourite is watching two scenesters look at each other in shock when they realise they are pretty much wearing identical outfits, who said individuality is dead?!