society

Christmas junkies

To quote the oft-maligned Snoop Dogg; “Guess who’s back in the motherfucking house, with a fat dick for your motherfucking mouth”…or something along those lines anyway. Here is that classic G-Funk anthem to mark our return, Ain’t No Fun (If the homies can’t have none). Whilst I’m down with many of Snoop’s mantras (droping it like it’s hot, rolling down the street smoking on indo, sipping on gin & juice ad nauseum) this is one I’m just not feeling.

So we’ve been offline for about a month and during that time, the World has pretty much fallen apart. Companies have gone bust, Countries are in crisis and pirates have begun their rightful assent back to the top of the food chain. Our behind-the-scenes scientists believe there to be a correlation between the giddy goings on and the internet bereft of our writing. Not only have we been offline, we have also left Shoreditch. Scritti Politti t-shirts, Punks Jump up after-party flyers and oversized, lensless glasses formed a teary debris along Shoreditch High Street. Like a modern day Hansel & Gretal, bagel crumbs rather than gingerbread were left to find our way back.

Our riverside retreat is definitely filling the void that has been left by ‘Ditch. Things that I don’t miss in particular; wankers with moustaches on bikes, Japanese fashion victims, ugly girls who think bright tights and horizontal haircuts fool everyone, 2 out of 3 people owning desert scarves and 90% of people having no obvious job or stream of income that could sustain their lifestyles.

Anyway, now Christmas is over and frankly I’m hoping this year’s more sombre and subdued affair might be the beginning of a reversal of commercialisation of the festive period. Against the backdrop of impending redundancies, repossessions and the like, suddenly ’stuff’ can be viewed with the disdain is deserves. Who needs a pocket pencil sharpener that doubles as a bow-tie when you’re losing your job? Who needs an executive ball scratcher when you’re getting chucked out your house? Who needs the Star Wars super deluxe box set when a bailiff has just come and taken your TV away? Now what can fill the void left by our crack-consumerism? How about Christmas just being a time for families to get together? Those dispersed far and wide making the present of presence the one thing that they give to the people they care about at Christmas.

Naive, yes. Having watched the news in horror on Boxing Day as thousands of people battery henned themselves into Selfridges, consumerism isn’t dead by a long chalk yet.

To finish as we begun with the insightful views of Snoop…

have your say