clubs, london, music, nightlife

A Disappointing Elegy – buh bye Astoria

It is with great pleasure that I introduce the first article from our new writer V, gorge yourselves on his tasty melancholy morsels!

The London Astoria is no longer. London’s best gig venue closed its doors late last week after years of “will they? won’t they? Oh just fucking shit or get of the fucking pot”.  It will be felled and replaced by a new over-priced and 20 years too late transport link, and in a typically retarded TFL style, the place didn’t even get to party into oblivion on it’s final night standing due to a mix-up in dates on when the ‘dozers were booked to roll in.

After a truly appalling line up was cobbled together for Wednesday’s Demolition Ball (the last ever event in the main gig venue) hopes were higher for Thursday, which represented last orders in the awesome subterranean Astoria 2 . The highly-rated indie bopper night PUSH took up opportunity to have one last dance before moving to a new regular venue. Anticipation of a nostalgia night filled with revellers wanting to see the old girl off in style and bemoan the failed efforts to save the venue in equal measure was dispelled with the evening quickly descending into an indie pop culture farce. The DJ policy was lacking any hint of respect – blending Dr Dre’s worst pop drivel (California Love) with classics from the Clash, Pulp and suitable new and old luminaries.  “Not Happy” was the call from the back of the room. Even the live elements were disappointing. Cajun Dance Party made their tuneful and usually hope-filled repertoire sound lacklustre with the front man fully immersed in his self indulgent X-Factor style Robert Smith impersonation which was obviously making the rest of the band feel like a gaggle of stage cunts. Good Shoes should have saved the night, but an over-crowded, highly-charged stage bar meant the band had to battle thorough their own failing new material against the backdrop of a non-informed student crowd trying to physically over power them resulting in a poor set with only the occasional highlight of the band’s immense debut material.

Maybe it was all for the best that the last show was a fall from grace for a problematic old friend whose fate is already decided. It wasn’t a night that will live long in the memory, and now the appreciation of truly great gigs at the fabled venue is stronger and will be stuff of legend. R.I.P

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